Monthly Archives: February 2012

Why some women will ALWAYS be single: A cautionary tale

Mixed signals.  We all hate them, and , ladies, whether you want to admit it or not, we’ve all sent them.  I’ve heard a lot of my women friends over the years talk about how frustrated they are because the men they are dating send mixed signals.  I’m of the mind that, in general, the complete opposite is true.  Men might lie, but they almost NEVER send mixed signals.   I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but we’ll explore that theme at a later date.  Women, on the other hand, are blessed with a level of doublespeak that can boggle the mind.  And, really, you can’t blame us.  Women are taught to be polite and agreeable in society, which often means agreeing with things we don’t necessarily agree with or doing things we don’t necessarily want to do.  But again, not the point of my post today.

A good friend of mine, who is male, was really feeling a woman.  He was feeling her, and he made his feelings clear.  See?  No mixed signals.  The woman, however, was FULL of mixed signals.  She would flirt with him via twitter, send him pictures (not naughty pictures, but, you know…pictures.).  She would talk about coming to visit him, although he lived SEVERAL states away.  Finally, right before Valentine’s Day, she decided to come up for a visit.  My friend, anticipating her arrival, took a cooking class, so that he could impress her.  Upon her arrival, he met her at the airport with chocolate covered strawberries and a lovely bouquet of flowers.  He then announced they were going to head to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse for dinner.  When he brought her back to his apartment, he made it clear that he would be sleeping on the couch, and she could have his bedroom; the perfect gentleman.  Nice, right?  Apparently not, because she got angry at the chocolates and flowers and freaked out when my friend told her he was taking her to Ruth’s Chris.  The next day, my friend unveiled his cooking skills and when he announced that the food was ready, she proceeded to tell him that she wasn’t hungry….AFTER HE SPENT ALL THAT TIME COOKING!!!!  What is going on here?  Needless to say, the rest of the weekend was awkward and they didn’t speak much until he dropped her off at the airport.

Stories like this always piss me off because women always say they want a guy to do nice things for them.  They want men to show them that they are special.   They want a man to be honest with his feelings, but when he is, THIS is what he gets?  I mean, I’m trying to be diplomatic about this whole thing because I wasn’t there, so I guess I don’t know the whole story, but I do know this:  As a woman, unless we’ve been friends for many, many years (or I am romantically interested), I don’t go visiting men who live several states away. But maybe that’s just me.    Also, Ruth’s Chris, flowers and chocolate covered strawberries by edible arrangments don’t sound like a death sentence to me.  They also don’t sound like a marriage proposal, either.  And she wonders why she’s still single?  I’m not sure why this girl freaked out, but I do know this: If she keeps this behavior up she, and women like her, will be single for a very, very long time.  Eh…But I guess she’ll have her mixed messages to keep her warm….

Thomas Czarnecki’s “From Enchantment to Down”: Lazy or Misogynistic Masterpiece

Before I begin, I want to warn everyone up front:  These pictures are  EXTREMELY shocking.  If you are easily upset, or very sensitive, please do not look at the photos; stop after reading the post.

Thomas Czarnecki has shocked many people with his photo editorial “From Enchantment to Down”  This editorial showcases everyone’s favorite Disney princesses meeting some NOT so happily ever afters.

After looking through all of the photos, the ones that affect me the most are Pocahontas and Sleeping Beauty.  I suppose real art is nothing, if not provocative, but the only picture that has any real artistic value, in my opinion, is the Pocahontas photo.  This photo showcases the ongoing themes of  racism, male domination and the idea of women as “trophies” that still pervades our modern society.  The Sleeping Beauty photo is clearly a depiction of r@pe, and rubs me the wrong way.  The rest of the photos are lazy, sick and scary, in that order.  They are shocking for the sake of being shocking and they aren’t really saying anything important.

I don’t pretend to be a photography expert, because I am not.  While I think the photos are kind of pretty to look at, the underlying themes are gruesome and quite ugly.  I know that many people feel that Disney Princesses are idealized women and are bad influences on young girls, but do they deserve to die for that?  This photo editorial, while shocking, is still a little scary.   These photos appear to be the musing of a man who has a very particular idea of where pretty young women in society ought to be:   Assaulted, poisoned , kidnapped, r@ped pushed down stairs and washed up on beaches……Yikes, Thomas Czarnecki….was high school really that bad?

 

Thomas Czarnecki photos C/O The Huffington Post

Really smart relationship advice c/o Bob Marley

He is not perfect.  You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect.  But if he can make you laugh at least once, cause you to think twice, and if he admits to being human, and making mistakes, hold on to him, and give him the most you can.  He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break.  Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give.  Don’t analyze.  Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there.  Love hard when there is love to be had.  Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there is always one guy that is perfect for you

Bob Marley

From untiligetmarried.com: The OTHER reason why street harassment is wrong

HAD to reblog this one.  This is a blog that I follow and I feel, for the most part, Jozen gives must needed insight into the male psyche. Here is the article I’m talking about, and my resulting response

 

I spent some time in the south growing up, and there were two types of men that would approach you on the street:  The “Hey-shawty-what-up-you-so-fine” dude that would try to grab your hand and the “Ay-b*tch-what-dat-mouth-do” type of dude that would try to grab…err…other parts of your body. At least some of them (the former, obviously) would still treat you with respect even if you weren’t feeling them or chose not to respond to them. The latter would no doubt call you a b*tch, or my favorite; a lesbian.  No-one ever actually tried to harm me, though.  However, when I got to college, I learned that there can be repercussions for not responding to street harassment.  Broken bottles were actually thrown at me and my friends for not acknowledging a catcall on the street. (and I swear to you I’m not the stuck up type)  It got to the point where I felt like I was “running the gauntlet” every time I walked up the street towards a group of guys.  It was all fun and games; banter and bs before, and now I have to fear the threat of violence?  No bueno…

S*x and the City or Thirst and the City

Just tell me I’m the one…

Yes. I am THAT girl. But not how you may think. I will admit, my Kindle Fire cover is pink and I own the entire SATC series, so, in THAT way, I suppose I am THAT girl. But , I promise, it’s really not what you think. Every once in a while, I get in the mood to go back and watch my favorite episodes of Sex and the City, and I’ve found something startling: I think I just might hate Carrie’s character. For those who watched the series, they know that Carrie and Miranda had a particularly huge fight in the middle of a thrift store one day. And that fight was about Big. Well, maybe not ABOUT Big, but how Carrie would change around him. (Now let me stop here by saying, if you didn’t watch the show, you probably have NO idea what I’m talking about right now, but stay with me.)

The fight culminates with Miranda saying this

Jesus, Carrie, every time you get near him, you turn into this pathetic,needy, insecure victim. And the thing that pisses me off the most, is that you’re more than willing to go back for more.

Really harsh to say to your best friend, right? Well, after watching the series for many, many years, I’ve come to the conclusion that Miranda was exactly right. Could she have said it with more tact? Probably, but then Carrie might have made a horrible decision… Again.   As I go back and watch this show again and again, I see Carrie become EXACTLY what Miranda described.   And what’s worse, every time she and Big break up, she expects her friends to put up with her whining for weeks and weeks on end, but won’t take their advice.  It eventually gets so bad, her friends convince her to go see a therapist. (Which also ends in disaster, but that’s for another post.)

If you think this is an isolated incident, think back to the verrrry first episode of SATC.  The man:  Kurt Harrington.  The situation:  Kurt was a “mistake” that Carrie made when she was 26….and 29…..and 31.  When Carrie sees Kurt again while eating lunch with best friend Stanford Blatch, Stanford tries to stop her from making that same mistake….again.  But Carrie waves him off and makes plans to meet with Kurt for the FOURTH time.  As Carrie returns to the table, Stanford all but foreshadows Miranda’s future tirade.  Although he handles Carrie with a bit more tact, his frustration is equal to that of Miranda’s…and I can’t say that I blame either of them.

I won’t ever say that SATC wasn’t a major part of my television diet in the late 90s and the 200s, because it was, and I certainly appreciate Carrie’s character arch, but I cringe every time I see her behavior as it relates to men…the thirst was so real.

*drops mic and prepares to be stoned by S*x and the City fans*

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