Category Archives: Relationships
So…I really like Chick Fil A. And I really like gay marriage (I like straight marriage too…I just like marriage, but I digress.) And I’m sure you all have heard by now that Chick Fil A President Dan Cathy made his feelings about gay marriage known in a July 16th interview with The Baptist Press. If not, here is his comment below.
We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit,” Cathy said. “We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.
Then the sh— ummm chicken hit the fan.
Supporters of same-sex marriage balked, as did opponents. On Wednesday, those in support of Cathy’s comments were encouraged to show their support of Chick Fil A by eating at the restaurant. Those in support of gay marriage were encouraged to donate the cost of a Chick Fil A meal to a gay/lesbian rights group of their choosing and GLAAD even backed “National Same-Sex Kiss Day”, where same-sex couples were encouraged to engage in (tasteful) public displays of affection in front of Chick-Fil-A locations.
When I first heard the news of Cathy’s comments, I was a tad miffed. I thought to myself, “Ugh, am I going to have to boycott Chick Fil A now?” Then I had another thought, “The same way I believe that gay couples should be allowed to get married, I also think those who don’t believe in gay marriage are entitled to their opinion.” As my sister said, “Tis fair for everyone to share”
Many of my friends have offered up opinions of their own.
Look. I just want waffle fries and deep fried yard bird. That’s it. I don’t need a bunch of Christians creating traffic jams to show that their chicken is holy in Jesus’ name and those who don’t partake are going to hell. I also don’t need gay men spinning in circles listening to Sylvester, wearing glitter and making out in a chicken joint. It’s all just too much
I hate that even fried chicken is now political. Just give me some chicken tenders and polynesian sauce and leave your politics at home. Sheesh.
How are you going to be surprised at the man’s answer when he’s the president of a company that’s been closed on Sunday since 1949?
Clearly, some of my friends are more ridiculous than others, but in general, they all seem to be on the same page as it relates to this Chick-fil-A incident. The general consensus is that everyone is infringing and getting offended by everyone else’s rights. It’s a hot unorganized emotional mess.
Just wanted to pop in and say hi to all of my readers. Thank you so much for you kind words in this difficult time. I really appreciate each and every one of you. I wanted to share a news story featured on CapitalGazette.com with you guys about my grandfather. He touched so many people in his life. I hope to one day be able to say I did even a fraction of the things he accomplished. I love you, Granddaddy….Rest in Paradise and I’ll see you when I get there…..
The legacy of a man is not what he builds but what he builds in others.
I learned a long time ago that when a man approaches you to ask for a date, you should never be rude, but make it quite clear if you aren’t interested. You can smile and keep walking if he tries to grab your hand on the street. You can politely entertain his conversation, and then, still politely say “No thank you” or something to that effect when he asks if he can call you. I’ve had some good experiences avoiding men I wasn’t interested in…but I’ve also had some bad ones. Let’s begin…
I’ll never forget, I lived in the “athletic” dorm in college (They weren’t really allowed to call it that, but that’s pretty much what it was because a vast majority of the student-athletes lived there, but I digress) There was this guy on the soccer team who ALWAYS tried to ask me out. I tried time and again to let him down gently, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He just WOULDN’T! And I reallywasn’t interested. For starters, when he introduced himself (and sadly, I don’t remember what his actual name was) he said…and I quote, “My name is Whatever-Since-I-Can’t-Remember-His-Name, but all the ladies call me Black Silk.
*Grand Opening, Grand Closing*
BLACK SILK????!!!! THAT’S what you’re opening up with?! And “ALL THE LADIES CALL YOU BLACK SILK”???? Sir, that is not the way to my heart, nor any other woman’s heart. But, of course, I didn’t say any of these things aloud. I simply smiled, said, “No thanks. I’m not really into dating right now”, or some other type of excuse.
A few days later, when he asked me out the next time, I’m sure I came up with some other evasive thing to say and managed to hightail it outta there before he started massaging my hands again. (Yeah, he was THAT guy)
One day,he cornered me in the hall on the way into my room after cheerleading practice. Again, don’t quite remember what he said, but again, I managed to give him the slip. After I went into my room and looked out of my peephole, I saw him standing there for a while, staring at my door…..yikes…….
A few days later I was eating lunch ins the café with my roommate (who also happened to be my sister) , and her then-boyfriend (who also happened to be on the soccer team) came walking over to our table.
Him: Hey Tee… My boy Whatever-Since-I-Can’t-Remember-His-Name on the soccer team wants to know what’s wrong with you. *snickers under his breath*
Me: *incredulous* What’s wrong with me????
Him: Yeah, he said he gave you three chances. *laughing becomes louder*
Me: Three chances? Three chances for what?????
Him: Three chances for you to go out with “Black Silk” *throws head back in full laughter*
Me: This is not funny! I’ve been avoiding this guy for the longest. I keep turning down his dates, but he just doesn’t seem to be getting them memo.
Him: I know. That’s exactly what he said. He said YOU’RE not getting the memo. The ladies love him, so he doesn’t understand why you’re being so ridiculous.
Me: I’M being ridiculous??????
Him: *dies laughing*
Needless, to say, I never did go out with Black Silk and I’m not sure what happened, but he never tried to ask me out again after that. But whenever I saw him around the dorm or on campus I always got the mean side eye…..
Ladies, how many of you have a funny story about avoiding a guy? How about you guys? Any crazy stories about avoiding a woman? Send submissions here and I’ll pick the two funniest and post them to my blog.
I remember when I first heard this song; I was in a bar in downtown Washington, DC . Largely, the song went ignored, but I was stunned. My first thought was, “What a simple yet profound tune. Well done, John”. My next thought was, “What the heck music channel is on in this bar?” A few seconds after the song went off, a guy, who I considered a friend, walked over to our table. “I hate this song!”, he exclaimed with a disgusted look crossing his face. I looked up at him in a haze of confusion and perhaps to many Magic Hats. Did he just say he HATES this song? Doesn’t he HAVE a daughter?? What is going on here??? I tried not to let the shock register on my face as he sat down to join us for the rest of the evening.
Later on I got to thinking about fathers, daughters, and relationships. My father was SUPER involved in my dating life growing up. Like, REALLY. First of all, I was not allowed to go on any dates until I was 16. (Did I mention I didn’t turn 16 until my junior year in high school?!?!) Anything before that was referred to as a “group outing” and group outings required adult supervision. Needless to say, I did not go on a whole lot of dates between ages 14 and 15
Finally, when I turned 16, many more guys were willing to ask me out on dates. I’ll never forget my very first one. For the sake of the story, we’ll call him “that boy”. He invited me out to the movies and I happily accepted. When I got home, I excitedly told my Mom about my date. With a twinkle in her eye she asked me if I had told my father yet. “No ma’am” I muttered. I KNEW where this was going. I slowly walked upstairs to my Dad’s office and knocked on the door. When he told me to come in, my heart was pounding. I carefully explained that a nice young man that I met at my church youth group’s skating party had asked me on a date. With a twinkle is HIS eye, my father asked what time this young man was coming to pick me up. “Seven-thirty”, I replied, avoiding eye contact. “Tell him to come by at 7”, my dad said. “Yes sir”. I walked to my room to call “that boy”. I THOUGHT I knew where this was going…..but I had no idea.
Friday night rolled around and I was getting ready for my date. Around 6:51pm, “that boy” rang the doorbell and my father answered. I came downstairs while “that boy” was in the process of introducing himself to my Mom and Dad. I grabbed his arm and attempted to head toward the door when father stops us. “Son, can I see you for a moment?” he said. My heart sank. My mother said she needed to give me something so I go back upstairs with her. 20 minutes I came back downstairs and my father and “that boy” are coming out of the living room. “That boy” had the strangest look on his face, and I did my best to ignore it. I hustled him out the front door.
Once in the safety of his car, I ask “that boy” what he and my father talked about. “Nothing much” he said, casually, all the while keeping his eyes on the highway. “He’s lying….I know it”, I thought to myself. I tried to make small talk on the short ride to the movie theater, but I knew something had changed between me and “that boy”.
I can’t say I remember what movie we saw, or even if we liked it or not, but I do remember “that boy” sitting straight up in his seat and repeatedly asking me if i was okay or if I needed anything. Needless to say, it was a little awkward, and as SOON as the movie was over, we practically went warp speed back to my house. He walked me to my doorstep and said he would call me later. He shook my father’s hand, nodded and smiled at my mother and walked back to his car. I turned, shot my father a dirty look, and went upstairs. I just KNEW I would never hear from “that boy” again.
Early the next week, I got a phone call from “that boy”. He wanted to know if I wanted to go out to dinner on Friday night. I accepted and slowly hung up the phone, my mind reeling. I didn’t understand. I thought this dude never wanted to see me again! I thought my father had said something horrible to him and he was in the process of telling EVERY guy in the tri-state area not to ask me out because my dad was crrrrrazy. My mind had already conceived a crap ton of heinous scenarios that would render my high school dating experience over and done, but, clearly, none of these scenarios came to fruition. He had just asked me out on a second date.
I ended up dating that guy for a little while. Further into our relationship, I begged him to tell me what my father said to him that first night. Between pulling info from both him and my father, I can only surmise the conversation went something like this:
Dad: So, son, what are your intentions with my daughter?
That Boy: I uh, want to take her to a movie sir.
Dad: Okay then. You will be back here at 9:30. Not one minute later. Do you understand?
That Boy: Yes sir.
Dad: My daughters are princesses son. Princesses…and frogs just won’t do. Are you a frog, son?
That Boy: Um..uh, no sir. Not at all.
Dad: And there WILL be no sex. Nothing horizontal of any sort. Do you understand son?
That Boy: *stunned* Um..Yes sir…I mean, No sir…I mean…I understand sir.
Dad: Good good. So, what college are you looking to go to son?
That Boy: Well, um..I haven’t really thought about it yet, but there are a few on my list…..
I never got much more out of either of them, but when I asked “That Boy” what made him call me back, he said something that stays with me to this day. “I really liked you but, to be honest, I didn’t know how serious I really wanted to be. With your father talking like that, I had to decide, and decide quickly whether or not I liked you enough to go through that sort of interrogation. It made me respect you and your family a lot more. And I hope that if I have a daughter one day, I’ll do the same thing to the boys who ask her out.”
We had a good run, but “That boy” and I didn’t end up staying together. Although I had many other dates after him, my father continued to interrogate each and every new date I ever had in that exact manner, right up until I left for college. I was embarrassed for many years about the way my father “screened” my potential suitors, but now that I’m older, I’m so grateful that he did what he did. My father was doing what he was supposed to do. He was being a good father to his daughter, and being good to me included screening the men that I chose to spend my time with. And not every guy I wanted to go out with passed my father’s interrogation, either. He rejected quite a few of them. I may have been mad at the time, and I’m sure that I missed out on a lot of dates because of my father’s rules, but I’ll bet I missed out on a lot of guys dogging me and a lot of heartache, too. Being dogged, messed over and hurt can affect a woman in such a way that she can’t even be in a relationship with a man who really loves her, and that’s a sad reality. Sometimes I wonder what became of the little girl who’s father said that he hated this song……..
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she’s just like a maze
Where all of the walls continually change
And I’ve done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I’m starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me
Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too ~ John Mayer
He is not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, cause you to think twice, and if he admits to being human, and making mistakes, hold on to him, and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there is always one guy that is perfect for you
HAD to reblog this one. This is a blog that I follow and I feel, for the most part, Jozen gives must needed insight into the male psyche. Here is the article I’m talking about, and my resulting response
I spent some time in the south growing up, and there were two types of men that would approach you on the street: The “Hey-shawty-what-up-you-so-fine” dude that would try to grab your hand and the “Ay-b*tch-what-dat-mouth-do” type of dude that would try to grab…err…other parts of your body. At least some of them (the former, obviously) would still treat you with respect even if you weren’t feeling them or chose not to respond to them. The latter would no doubt call you a b*tch, or my favorite; a lesbian. No-one ever actually tried to harm me, though. However, when I got to college, I learned that there can be repercussions for not responding to street harassment. Broken bottles were actually thrown at me and my friends for not acknowledging a catcall on the street. (and I swear to you I’m not the stuck up type) It got to the point where I felt like I was “running the gauntlet” every time I walked up the street towards a group of guys. It was all fun and games; banter and bs before, and now I have to fear the threat of violence? No bueno…
Just tell me I’m the one…
Yes. I am THAT girl. But not how you may think. I will admit, my Kindle Fire cover is pink and I own the entire SATC series, so, in THAT way, I suppose I am THAT girl. But , I promise, it’s really not what you think. Every once in a while, I get in the mood to go back and watch my favorite episodes of Sex and the City, and I’ve found something startling: I think I just might hate Carrie’s character. For those who watched the series, they know that Carrie and Miranda had a particularly huge fight in the middle of a thrift store one day. And that fight was about Big. Well, maybe not ABOUT Big, but how Carrie would change around him. (Now let me stop here by saying, if you didn’t watch the show, you probably have NO idea what I’m talking about right now, but stay with me.)
The fight culminates with Miranda saying this
Jesus, Carrie, every time you get near him, you turn into this pathetic,needy, insecure victim. And the thing that pisses me off the most, is that you’re more than willing to go back for more.
Really harsh to say to your best friend, right? Well, after watching the series for many, many years, I’ve come to the conclusion that Miranda was exactly right. Could she have said it with more tact? Probably, but then Carrie might have made a horrible decision… Again. As I go back and watch this show again and again, I see Carrie become EXACTLY what Miranda described. And what’s worse, every time she and Big break up, she expects her friends to put up with her whining for weeks and weeks on end, but won’t take their advice. It eventually gets so bad, her friends convince her to go see a therapist. (Which also ends in disaster, but that’s for another post.)
If you think this is an isolated incident, think back to the verrrry first episode of SATC. The man: Kurt Harrington. The situation: Kurt was a “mistake” that Carrie made when she was 26….and 29…..and 31. When Carrie sees Kurt again while eating lunch with best friend Stanford Blatch, Stanford tries to stop her from making that same mistake….again. But Carrie waves him off and makes plans to meet with Kurt for the FOURTH time. As Carrie returns to the table, Stanford all but foreshadows Miranda’s future tirade. Although he handles Carrie with a bit more tact, his frustration is equal to that of Miranda’s…and I can’t say that I blame either of them.
I won’t ever say that SATC wasn’t a major part of my television diet in the late 90s and the 200s, because it was, and I certainly appreciate Carrie’s character arch, but I cringe every time I see her behavior as it relates to men…the thirst was so real.
*drops mic and prepares to be stoned by S*x and the City fans*