Monthly Archives: January 2012

Frank Ocean’s Voodoo: A Two Minute Life Story

She’s got the whole wide world in her juicy fruit
He’s got the whole wide world in his pants
He wrapped the whole wide world in a wedding band
Then put the whole wide world on her hands
She’s got the whole wide world in her hands
Man, Frank Ocean just sang a lot of people’s lives with his words.  These sound like the musings of a man who has had a lifetime fear of commitment, but has now decided to commit to one woman…..Probably the most terrifying moment of his life.  Care to weight in fellas?  Am I right or am I way off base here?

The NEW Freshman 15, Round II

Any of you who are following this blog know that I have an upcoming trip to Miami. That being said, I mentioned what a great time I had during the holiday season, so great, in fact, that I gained some holiday weight. Weight, my friends, that will not be counting as my carry on when I fly to Miami this spring. Well, I buckled down and started my diet and exercise regimen at last post, and so far, so good.

Between diet, spin class, running and yoga, I’m down 10 lbs, and one dress size, so I’m pretty excited about my results. The only issue I have is weekends. More specifically, I like my adult beverages, but I decided to cut them out during the week, and only indulge on weekends. But only indulging on weekends is sort of difficult when you have the type of job I do. (Now before you guys start getting all strange on me, I’m a writer, which sometimes requires many,many trips to the bar….but I digress) So, I say all of that to say, I’m willing to bet that last little bit of weight will be hard to shake because I enjoy my adult beverages on the weekends. But seeing how I only have 9 weeks left, I should probably cut it out…Right?

I’m not sure if I mentioned this in my last post, but I’ll post before and after pics once I’m done and I’ll also post before and after measurements. Hopefully, I won’t regret this……….


Update:  I got my BMI checked while I was at the gym today, and it’s down to 22.5 from 25.5.  It’s the little things.

Sh*t White Girls Say to Black Girls or Know your Meme

So, apparently, some people were offended by this video. I wonder if those offended ever said (or thought) any of these things. I’m only wondering because almost ALL of these statements and questions have graced my ears…a lot…in real life…since childhood. And for the record, it’s NOT called “Sh*t ALL White Girls Say to All Black Girls”. But it has happened to me and other black girls I know. And just to bring balance, I know these question/comments aren’t said to be malicious, and they have been said by girls that I’ve considered friends, and still do consider friends, but sadly, they didn’t know any better. It’s a little crazy when you see it all in one reel, though, isn’t it? And for those who DO think this is racist, I’m not going to try and convince you otherwise. What offends you is what offends you and feelings are real, but please read this article.

Thoughts, kiddies?

and update….because this happens too much also…..smh

What Yoko Ono and Ethiopians have in Common or my earliest Cincinnati experience

Just as a disclaimer, this was written when I first moved to Cincinnati, OH from Washington, DC.  I was a little fragile, to say the least, but I stand by 99% of my rant…..

After having lived in Washington, DC for 10 years I relocated to Cincinnati,OH

Having lived in a major city for 10 years, it was difficult, to say the least, getting used to the differences in the two cities.  I was trying to make it work, though.  I bought a house a couple of weeks ago and the neighborhood seemed awesome.  There seemed to be tons of young professionals, lots a space to walk the dog, a nice clubhouse with all the amenities you could think of and the clubhouse even has its own little pub.  To add to the fun, the neighborhood association hosts parties every month, and sometimes bi-weekly.  It all sounded great, so I moved in thinking everything would be great.

Last Thursday, the neighborhood hosted one of their monthly parties at the clubhouse.  I walked in, and I was the only black person there.  Not a big deal, because that’s not an uncommon occurence where I currently live.  I didn’t think it would be a big deal anyway because I’m used to hanging out with people from all races and it’s always a good time, no matter who I’m with.

So the party was in full effect:  The DJ was playing, the drinks were flowing from the bar, there were a couple of games on some of the TVs and there was a karaoke book being passed around.  No sooner had I settled upstairs next to another couple, when a girl downstairs decides that she’s going to sing Band On the Run by Wings.  (Wings, for those who don’t know, is a band that included Paul McCartney, former Beatle…from the group The Beatles…you know who I mean, right?)  She finishes her song, and then decides it’s stand-up hour.  She declares to the entire room that she has a joke, and proceeds with:

“What do Yoko Ono and Ethiopians have in common?”

**silence and general apathy from the group**

“What do Yoko Ono and Ethiopians have in common?”

“They both live off of dead beetles (Beatles)”


There were a few scattered boos from the crowd, but the next second the party resumed as if nothing happened.  Everyone got back to their merriment….everyone, that is, except for me.  I was apalled by the joke.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am AWARE that all sorts of people make off-color jokes, but WOW, REALLY?  I mean, dead beetles?  Have you ever been to Ethiopia?  Have you ever met any Ethiopians?  Have you ever even left the state of Ohio?  I mean, there are TONS of people that aren’t from Ohio that live there (both national and international) due to major international companies that have offices/plants/etc in the area and somehow, she felt her joke was an appropriate one to share with the group.

This couldn’t be a better example of how the black tax extends way past Corporate America.  For those who don’t know, the black tax is the amount of extra work that blacks have to do in corporate america in order to be viewed as equal to our colleagues.  The tax also applies when something out of line has been said ( whether around the “water cooler or in a business meeting) and you have to decide how you are going to react to it.  And the taxman showed up that night.  Now I had to decide how I was going to react to “comedy hour”.  Do I say something?  Do I walk out?  Do I approach the girl, who may or may not even realize (or even care) that she said something inappropriate?  I could walk out, but would people even know or care why I left?  I could have said something, but then I would be dealing with all kinds of assumptions:  “Why do black people always make everything about race?” or  “Is the menacing black girl going to try and fight her?” or  “Why can’t they just act like nothing happened.  Everyone was having a good time.  She didn’t mean anything by it”  Yeah yeah yeah, I’ve heard it all.

Right after her “joke”, I sat in stunned silence for about ten minutes.  Then I said loudly,” I’m Ethiopian, and that’s not funny.”  The couple next to me looked horrified.  Then I said,”Just kidding, guys, I’m not really Ethiopian.”  They looked relieved and continued on with their fun evening.  I, however did not.  The sad thing is, I AM Ethiopian.  Not my parents or grandparents, but if you did a search of my African heritage, you would find Ethiopia back there.  So now I felt like I had let down my entire race because I made a joke so that everyone else would feel comfortable.  That was a completely un-characteristic response for me.  I was so sick with myself.  I’m usually an up front sort of girl, even in situations where I’m completely alone in my opinion, but for whatever reason, I just sat there and took it.  Needless to say, I ended up leaving the party that evening without saying anything to anyone.  I went home and cried for an hour.

I’m really starting to lose faith in the human race,guys.  I mean, it’s 2008 and people are really telling jokes like that in public forums?  I mean, I’m not going to tell you what sort of jokes to tell in private.   If you and your frinds are racists, than by all means be racists together, but can you at least have the decency to leave your racism at home?  Or maybe, this girl wouldn’t have cared if there were Ethiopian people in the room.  Either way, I was so done with the city of Cincinnati after that.  I mean, I’ve been here for almost a year and have been trying desperately trying not to write this city off and then something like this happens.  What in the world am I supposed to do now?….Welcome to Cincinnati!  Ugh.

Not too long after I wrote this, I met an AMAZING group of people of all races, religions, sexual orientations and political leanings and I couldn’t have been happier. We all became great friends, and I still keep in touch with them to this day. I’m just sorry that this situation was one of my earliest in Cincy. Glad it didn’t last 🙂

The NEW Freshman 15

First thing’s First: Happy New Year Everyone!!!!

Okay, I know that was super late, but, for reasons that should be obvious, I couldn’t post on New Year’s Eve….or New Year’s Day…or the day after New Year’s Day…

Regarding the entire holiday season; Christmas was very, very good. I got everything I asked for, including a LV handbag I’d had my eye on, some jewelry I had been lusting after, and a coat that will ensure I won’t get snow up my sleeves this year while skiing. All in all, it was a great holiday season; filled with food, drinks, friends, food, drinks, food, and good times (and drinks) Oh, and did I mention the food?

On a related note (and you’ll see why, in a moment) I’m hosting one of my best friends’ bachelorette party in Miami this spring, and, as always, I have taken my party planning to the extreme. But, in my haste to make sure EVERYTHING is perfect for this party, I really neglected my workout routine in the final months of 2011. Between that neglect and the yummy food and great cocktails that were EVERYWHERE this holiday season, the result was: Scary weight that will NOT be joining me in Miami.

It’s funny, I’ve never been concerned about weight in my life. I was always the “skinny” girl, who always got told by various southern relatives that I needed to “eat something”.  You know the type:  no boobs, skinny legs, knobby knees, no butt.  But then one day, sophomore year in college BAM!  Outta nowhere….well, I mean, I still wasn’t “video-vixen” curvy like some of my friends, but I was happy with what I had.

Fast forward to after college. I wasn’t as active after college as I was during, but I still worked out, so things were cool. I also lived in a city where I could walk most everywhere I wanted to go, or at least walk to the train.  Fast forward to 2007:  I had relocated to a city that I wasn’t too keen on. It was actually a suburban nightmare, to be honest.  I went from the aforementioned city where I could walk anywhere, to a place where I HAD to get into a car to go EVERYWHERE! Needless to say, I gained the dreaded “Freshman 15”; a bullet that I was lucky enough to have dodged as a freshmen.  To my dismay, I began to realize that perhaps “The Freshman 15” could strike during ANY major life change, not just college.

Fast forward to January 1, 2012. That blasted 15 is still hanging out, and my workout schedule has been spotty at best, since I’ve moved back to the East Coast. So with that being said, the holiday weight MUST GO along with the post-freshman 15, and the excuses.  And they all must go before I step foot in Miami.  I hate to say I’m starting all of this as a New Year’s Resolution, but since I didn’t start on January 1, I guess I get a pass, right?  Right??

As I go along, I’ll be updating my work out/weight loss/diet log, and if you guys have any questions along the way, feel free to ask.  I’ll be posting before and after pics as well, but not until I’m finished, because I’m not that brave.  And for the record, I’m already 5 lbs down, so I’m super psyched!!!!

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