Falling from Faith or The Great Bible Charade
Everyone: Be forewarned. This is a rant. You may not like it. Shoot, I may not like it after I hit “publish” but I HAVE GOT to get these thoughts out of my head and out onto (cyber) paper. These are all the things you are NOT allowed to say, think, or ask….. unless you are at seminary (oh, the irony)
Okay, so for those of you that have been reading, you may or may not know that I have been feeling some type of way about organized religion, as of late. I’ve been having my doubts about what I’ve been taught my entire life. (I won’t get into the gay marriage stuff, because that’s another post ENTIRELY) My issues right now relate to those “magic trick” bible verses. I feel like pastors have been preaching this formula: Input A + Input B = Output C (I mean, yeah, there’s some “if and only if” in there too, but I digress) But how can they continue to teach that, when there are people that have been inputting A and B their ENTIRE lives, and NEVER get Output C? But wait, isn’t that formula in that big book you teach from? Why isn’t it working? I’m starting to wonder about some of these “prosperity preachers” as they are called. And, just to bring some balance; no, I’m not one of those people who listens to somebody preach from behind a pulpit but never reads the book. No, I’ve READ the book. And it seems like this God that is over us is playing one big game of Puppetmaster.
“Children do this, children to that. You have to use your faith. I may or may not have something AWESOME for you, but I’m not going to tell you. Just use your faith. I want to see if you trust me.”
Seriously?? If this were a relationship I was in with a man (like a boyfriend) we would have broken up a loooooooooong time ago. I want to see if you trust me???????? REALLY??? And, no, I’m not some random, I GREW UP in the church. I was in the church before I was born. I’m just sick of the games and sick of the half truths, and lies by way of omission. Yeah, sorry, but THAT’S how I feel right now. There…I said it. Now, I suppose I’m going to get struck by lightning or something. (I’m kidding about the lightning).
I won’t say I’m atheist, or agnostic. No,I believe He’s up there, but I’m just not sure what His motives are. And to all the people who say, “Well, he gave you life, and that’s the ULTIMATE gift. He woke you up this morning, that’s enough reason to praise Him. He doesn’t OWE you anything” Okay fine. I’d be JUST FINE with that, if that’s all that was in the book. But that’s NOT what’s in the book. HE made those promises, not me. And I HATE when preachers say, “You need to remind Him of His promises? Wait…what? I have to remind HIM of His promises? Did He forget them, somehow? *side eye*
“The Book” says if we acknowledge Him in all our ways, he’ll direct our paths. Ever felt lost, but, all the while, you were “acknowledging” God? Yeah, yeah, me too. “The Book” says if we delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give us the desires of our hearts. Anyone ever do this, and NOT get the desires of your heart? Yeah, same here. And this is the worst one of all, as it relates to “Puppetmastery”: Remember that story about how Abraham wanted a son, and God’s all sure, sure, I’ll give you a son. And God waited until Abraham was like 100, and his wife Sarah was like, 90 to do it? AND THEN GOD TOLD ABRAHAM TO KILL HIM!!!!!!!!! I mean, or course, He provided a ram in the bush at theeeeee last possible second, but ummmmmmm, GOD TOLD HIM TO KILL HIS KID BECAUSE GOD WANTED TO SEE IF HE WOULD TRUST HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, that’s a great Bible story about faith, and trust, and all that lovely stuff, but they really don’t go into the psychology of what that did to the family thereafter. But, to be fair, who knows, maybe people ran around almost killing their kids all the time back then, so, you know, maybe it made sense….. So here’s the conclusion of this rant: If we’re just supposed to love, trust and worship God because He woke us up this morning, and, in the meantime, live our lives as they come, the good, the bad, and the ugly; FINE…..JUST SAY THAT. But do not sit here and play games with people’s emotions by making us all of these promises, and then not keeping them, or PRETENDING you’re not going to keep them, just to see if we trust You. Or, worst of all, remaining completely silent when we need you the most. What sort of loving relationship is that? And please don’t hit me with the “His ways are greater than our ways, so you aren’t supposed to understand them” either
Okay. Rant complete. Feel free to comment, guys. Honestly, I just don’t know what I believe anymore.