The Master Cleanse Chronicles

Hey guys!

Soooo, it’s 2011, and I’m sure ALL of you have heard about it:   The Master Cleanse, the Lemonade Diet, whatever name you know it by, I tried it in 2008.  Oh, and just as a disclaimer I AM NOT A DOCTOR, FOLLOW THIS CLEANSE AT YOUR OWN RISK.  I’m just here to tell the tale…LOL.  Now, you want to know what happend?  The Good, The Bad, and the REALLY BAD?  LOL.  Read on friends…..read on…..

Master Cleanse…..Round 1……FIGHT!!!!!!

Current mood:crappy
Okay, guys.  So this is officially day one of the Master Cleanse and all I have to say is my mood is VERY, VERY accurate.   I don’t feel bad, I feel crappy…literally.  Well I did at least until 4:30pm.  Let’s begin…….
I took my Senna Leaf Tea last night at around 12am or so.  I kept expecting to wake up at 4am or 5am or some ungodly hour like some of the other blogs I’ve read, but that didn’t happen.  I slept through the night.  My stomach didn’t begin fighting me until 8am, but I didn’t get the “desired” effect of my tea until around 2pm.  The cramping wasn’t awful, but it sure wasn’t pleasant.  Ugh.Anyways, I have to say, the saline wash has GOT to be the worst part of the cleanse.  THE SALINE WASH IS THE DEVIL’S ELIXIR.  I hate it sooooo much.  It’s the worst.  I kept trying to imagine that I was sipping warm chicken broth, but about halfway through, I really just had to force it down.  Drinking a quart of warm, salty water is NOT a delicious turn of events.  Drinking it all at once is even less delicious.  You can only pretend for so long.   I have to be honest…I only drank 97% of it.  I couldn’t drink any more.

The lemonade, however, wasn’t half bad.  It was a little spicier than I thought it would be, but it does curb my appetite.  I haven’t really felt hungry at all today.  The only issue I have that is the lemonade is taking FOREVER to finish.  Every time I think I’m almost done, I look back and my container is still half-full!  Aaaaaand I have to pee every 10 minutes.

On the food front, the smell of it doesn’t really bother me.  My husband cooked some chicken breasts and it didn’t bother me one bit.  The hard part is watching tv…food LOOKS really good.  I just don’t want to eat any.  Not hungry, but it’s hard to watch pizzas go by on TV…LOL.  I don’t feel weak or dizzy, though, so I guess that’s a plus.  I really think the tough part is going to be the saline wash; aka “the devil’s elixir”………

As of 10pm, I’m STILL drinking that doggone lemonade…at least I’m almost done…I think…..

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Posted on November 3, 2011, in The Master Cleanse and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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